College, Random

flowchart

He sat in Benson for over three hours. Friends came and went, then I arrived after the Dalai Lama event. I ate, he ate my leftovers. With only a few minutes before class, he got up to grab some sushi for lunch. He left his stress-produced to-do list on the table when he went to get food. So naturally, I vandalized it. First, I added pregaming his Mardi Gras flight and texting me to Friday’s “to-do’s”. Then, I turned the rest of the page into a nonsensical flowchart. It was all I could come up with after sleeping only four hours the previous night. The flowchart started with “hi” and eventually wound up at “cool” then moved to “cool as a cat” then “but cats aren’t cool” then ” but you are” then he added on five branches: eh, jk, no, nahh, not really. Each of those were then linked to random other thoughts like having to write an essay & being sassy, needing a haircut, not being able to remember this weekend, and a couple more. My favorite, of course, was not being able to remember this weekend. Another level or two of good, detailed reasoning finished with two thoughts: “turn up” then “MARDI GRAS 2014!”.

I’m not sure why, but that flowchart was and IS the dumbest but funniest thing. It’s the perfect combination of sleep-deprivation, reality, and complete jokes. And I hope he appreciated it.

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