College, Deep thoughts, Home

Dwindling

Summer is hitting that awkward time when all my friends go back to school and busyness and I’m stuck with only the dvr and my thoughts to keep me company. Fortunately, this year I have a job to waste/spend some of the lonely time. Unfortunately, the job itself is lonely and b o r i n g. Also, fortunately, Spencer’s starting school a week later this year so I get to spend an “extra” week (and his birthday!) with him! Unfortunately my school is also starting a week later (whyyyyyy??) so it balances out. Fortunately, I’m going on “vacation” back out to school and moving in a few days earlier relative to the start of school.

Regardless, time is dwindling down. I’m starting to get caught up in the mushiness of it all … Both good and bad. On one side, I’m genuinely excited for school: reuniting with the friends I’ve met there, and building upon what’s begun. I am excited to move in, catch up with everybody, and get back to the fun, busy, and easy-to-embrace atmosphere at school. Being busy is how I like living. I’m excited for work and maybe even declaring majors and minors and being more committed to clubs and activities and friends!
On the other side, summer and going back to school always leave me with a bit of disappointment. It seems like it went by too fast and I feel rather unaccomplished at things I thought would happen but didn’t. I always hate leaving my family, best friends, and especially Spencer.  And… To make things even better…. I’m scared for classes and meeting/making really  good friends. Aka solidifying friendships and getting good grades. But I truly am grateful for the comfort and blessings of home. And those of school too! Holy moly I know both are just fantastic places to be but creating the balance of me without splitting myself is hard. 

The hardest thing for me at this moment is placing and picturing myself next year. I know, I know, I should live in the moment and YOLO-it and not fret! But 2014 is just around the river-bend! And I just know it’s going to be a big year. One of those”bitter or better,” life-changing years. I truly hope for the best. I hope I can grow, mature, experience all that I hope for, and become more me than I’ve ever been. 

And I think that process is obviously on going even now! So I’ll let summer dwindle to an end and I will take and treasure free time as I can!

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