College, Deep thoughts, Loveydovey, Real Talk

Real Talk: The long distance thing

Fact: I haven’t been home in over two months.

Fact: My best friends go to school in Colorado. My parents live in Colorado.

Fact: I haven’t seen my boyfriend in person in three months. He goes to school in Utah.
This is a taste of what makes my day every once in a while:

Pardon my grossness but seriously… he’s so darn cute/hilarious with the blanket!

Beyond the going to school out-of-state thing which separates me from my BFFs and family, Spencer and I are still going strong at the long distance in college relationship thing but the kicker is we’re not quite made of money enough to visit each other too often. It’s been hard. But I’ve learned a lot. And I’ve appreciated Spencer much more than before.

Long distance is a total balance. You need to put in effort constantly in order to get the payback you deserve, but you can’t put in too much effort because then you lose yourself in the process. It’s hard to balance making new friends and re-creating what is normal while keeping Spencer as close to me as ever. But I’m not going to lie, I think we’re doing it pretty well. We text like wow alll the time which is kind of ridiculous, but it’s less…. intense than skyping… and calling doesn’t often work out because of our limited phone plans. We skype around once a week give or take. The thing with long distance is you have to focus on being yourself before you can focus on the health of the relationship. Because the relationship is supposed to enhance both peoples’ lives. For me this means I have to make transitioning to school and loving SCU a HUGE priority. It seems so obvious that that would be a priority but, without a solid sense of normalcy or a thorough transition, there was no way I could be emotionally stable enough for the long distance thing. I know from seeing others go through it that a health long distance relationship involves communication without domination. It’s a huge red flag to me to see long distance relationships where the person seems absent because they’re always video-chatting or talking to their significant other. A relationship shouldn’t murder someone’s personality, friend-making abilities, or daily habits.

So yes. I do occasionally have moments / days where I really long for being home, or anywhere, with Spencer. I also have days where I am as happy as can be and I think, this really is working out and I will see him and everyone else in no time!

It’s all about being invested in the relationship without becoming consumed by it. It’s all about noticing the little things that make you grateful or happy. It’s all about feeling cared for and caring for the other person at the end of the day! (What a mushy post- gag)

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